One Man’s View
The Web Committee is pleased to run a previously written article by one of AA’s co-founders, Bill W. It has been edited due to space limitations.
WHEN IT COMES TO THE PRACTICE of AA’s Step Eleven – “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out”– I’m sure I am still very much in the beginner’s class; I’m almost a case of arrested development. Around me I see many people who make a far better job of relating themselves to God than I do. Certainly it mustn’t be said I haven’t made any progress at all over the years; I simply confess that I haven’t made the progress that I might have made, my opportunities being what they have been, and still are.
In Step Twelve - carrying the AA message to others - I’ve found little else than great joy. We alkies are folks of action, and I’m no exception. When action pays off as it does in AA, it’s small wonder that Step Twelve is the most popular and, for most of us, the easiest of all. This little sketch of my own “pilgrim’s progress” is offered to illustrate where I, and maybe lots of other AAs, have still been missing something of top importance. Through lack of disciplined attention and sometimes through lack of the right kind of faith, many of us keep ourselves year after year in the rather easy spiritual kindergarten I’ve just described. But almost inevitably we become dissatisfied; we have to admit we have hit an uncomfortable and maybe a very painful sticking point. Twelfth-Stepping, talking at meetings, recitals of drinking histories, confession of our defects and what progress we have made with them no longer provide us with the released and the abundant life. Our lack of growth is often revealed by an unexpected calamity or a big emotional upset. Perhaps we hit the financial jackpot and are surprised that this solves almost nothing; that we are still bored and miserable, notwithstanding. We know we aren’t doing well enough. We still can’t handle life, as life is. There must be a serious flaw somewhere in our spiritual practice and development. The chances are better than even that we shall locate our trouble in our misunderstanding or neglect of AA’s Step Eleven - prayer, meditation and the guidance of God. The other Steps can keep most of us sober and somehow functioning. But Step Eleven can keep us growing, if we try hard and work at it continually. As he goes along with his process of prayer, he begins to add up the results. If he persists, he will almost surely find more serenity, more tolerance, less fear and less anger. He will acquire a quiet courage, the kind that doesn’t strain him. He can look at so-called failure and success for what they really are. Problems and calamity will begin to mean instruction, instead of destruction. He will feel freer and saner. His sense of purpose and direction will increase.
Even if few of these things happen, he will still find himself in possession of great gifts. When he has to deal with hard circumstances he can face them and accept them. He can now accept himself and the world around him. He can do this because he now accepts a God who is All- and who loves all. When he now says “Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed by Thy name,” our friend deeply and humbly means it. When in good meditation and thus freed from the clamors of the world, he knows that he is in God’s hands; that his own destiny is really secure, here and hereafter.
Bill W.
Copyright © The AA Grapevine, Inc. (June 1958).
Reprinted with permission